Life is pretty good right now...

So I'm going to Vegas in two days!! And now we've moved hotels and we're staying on the strip!! That's right, on the strip!! We're staying at a hotel called Circus Circus, and we're staying in the tower right above the casino. The hotel's pretty cool, it's got an 80,000 sq foot casino, an amusement park, a circus, an arcade, three pools.....I'm so excited!!!

Jarx's friend pissed me off, though. Jarx asked me to look into staying on the strip, and I found this place. So I called him, and he told me to make sure about the deal and all that, and that once we got it we'd cancel the other one. That way, we wouldn't get there and have no room. So I called, and I booked it. And then apparenlty we can't just cancel the other hotel we had, because it's no longer affiliated with it's parent company, it's just a hotel on it's own. And so now the cancellation fee is $80. So I called Jarx's friend to talk to him about it and see what we could do, and he gets all mad because I tell him that I can't cancell Circus Circus, it's less than 48 hours. So he starts talking to me like I'm a freaking idiot, telling me that next time he or Jarx tell me something, I should listen more carefully and do what they tell me, not something else. I'm sorry, what?? I don't take orders from him. I mean, I know I was invited on their trip, but it's now as much my trip as theirs. I found both hotels, I'm the one that booked the Grand Canyon tour, I got us on the guest list at the Playboy Club. I don't really need him to talk to me like I'm a retard.

Anyways........so I'm getting a car!! Yeah, I know, isn't life awesome?? It's a 1999 Nissan Sentra. I'm going on wednesday to get my G1, and I'm gonna book my G2 for next week, after I get back from Vegas. And then, once I have my licence, I can get it insured and get my plates and stuff. And then I can drive it!!!! Anywhere I want, whenever I want!! I can't wait!! And I managed to find an insurance place that only costs about $250 per month, which really isn't too bad at all.

And so this weekend I went to Nicole's Halloween party in Hamilton, which was pretty good. And then on saturday I went to Ashley's house for Andrew's surprise bday thing, and then we all went to Big Buck's. Man, did I have fun!! It was pretty good. More fun than I thought I would have, really. Everyone was nice and no one was arguing and it was great. And everyone was drinking and dancing!! They were even drunkenly doing lapdances (something I never thought I'd see James do) and doing an Irish dance circle thing. I'm glad I went, I had a good time. The only time I thought of Anthony was when Rae asked me if what she'd heard was true, and then James came over to ask how I was doing and give me an uplifting peptalk. Haha, and I thought he hated me!! But apparenlty not. And I'm glad. It made me feel better. And I definately want to hang out with them again. Hopefully I get to.

And yeah, so I had my MRI yesterday. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but man, if I was claustrophobic, it would't have gone over too well. But yeah, I still have to wait about 2 weeks before my doctor will have the results. Hopefully it's nothing bad.

And I'm now thinking of doing school part-time instead of full-time. I mean, I wouldn't get OSAP the first year anyways, I might as well work and just do one or two courses per semester. I just can't decide between advertising and pr. Meh, I won't worry about it right now. I'll worry about it after Vegas. On the plus side, I got in to Sheridan for Advertising!! And I got a call from the Humber program telling me that they wanted me in the program, but that they couldn't officially accept me until i did my test. I know, I'm awesome!!

Anyways, time to go to bed. I need a good night's sleep, since tomorrow I have to go to work all day and prolly stay late, and I also have to do laundry and pack and make sure I have everything and try to read some of the G1 book. And maybe work on my assignment a bit. Yeah, that's prolly something I should do.

And maybe I should go pack my lunch for tomorrow. That's prolly a good plan.

Nighty night.
~Susana

Just shoot me now.

So I saw Anthony this weekend. It didn't go well. In front of him, I tried to be composed and look like everything was fine. But I had way too much tequilla and tried to run away and cried a lot. And I'm sure he knew it was about him, I mean, he can't be that stupid.

So it seems like he's fine without me. And apparently, I'm not okay without him. Why do I feel like this?? I wanted him to hug me, and hold me, and come after me, and tell me he was wrong and that he wanted to try again.....I wanted so many things that I know can't happen. And knowing that they'll never happen just made it worse.

God, I want this to stop. I don't want to miss him. But I guess I just wasn't ready to see him. So next time I'm put in that situation, I think I'll leave. I don't care what everyone thinks of that. After what Sal said, I don't really care. I'm not ready to see him, and when I'm pushed into it, it obviously doesn't go well. So I think I'll just save myself the pain and the crying and all that and just not see him.

And I'm sorry if that puts everyone in an awkward position. I'm sorry if it means that people will feel bad because they can't invite me or they want me there and feel bad for leaving him out. I'm sorry. But I can't. It still hurts too much.

And no, I don't know when it'll go away or how long it'll take. And I'm sorry if it takes longer than everyone wants. But that's just how it's gonna be. At least, for now.

Anyways, I'm done my rant now. I don't know what to do about all this, and I'm tired of thinking about it. I mean, he wasn't thinking about me, so why should I still be thinking about him?? God, this sucks.

On a happy note, I went to the states and got my Uggs today, and dress shoes, and Cookie Crisp, and Pantene that they don't sell here. And we had dinner at Ponderosa. It was me, my mom, Robin, and Gaby. It was pretty fun.
Susana

Blah, blah, blah....

So I work full-time now. At ADT. My offical job title is "Installation Co-ordinator." There's so much work, it's insane!! I have to put together the paperwork for the jobs for the day, and then call and confirm each one. Then I have to check the previous day's jobs, to make sure that they're all active and working. Then I have to do invoices, and then once they're signed, I have to batch them. Then I have to book jobs. And then, if I have time, I have to sort out the order sheets and put them in files. Yeah, it's a lot of work.

But you know, it's fun. I like the ppl I work with, and some of the sales reps are pretty freaking good looking. So it's a pretty good place to work now. I make enough money to do a few things I want. Like trips. I want to go on many trips. So far, there's Vegas and the Dominican, and I want to go to New York. I just have to find someone to go with me. And maybe Banff or Whistler. And maybe El Salvador. And then Macchu Picchu!!!!!!

Anyways, I have a year and a half to get in shape, since I'll need to be fit to go to Macchu Picchu. According to the website, it's not super hard, but it still is a 40-km hike through the mountains. Including three mountain passes. The highest at over 4000 ft!! And then the hard part, a bridge, and then through the Sun Gate into the city. I will do it!!!!!

So maybe it's time I go sign up for the gym. Haha, I should do that soon!!

Anyways, I'm off to walk to the mailboxes with Robin. And to have a smoke.
Bye bye for now.
Susana

Wow, two posts in two days...

So I might do advertising. Or a graphic design and advertising course. You know, I have no freaking clue. I was supposed to figure this out during Media Foundations. And funny part is, even back then, I was iffy on journalism. But I liked PR and advertising. And I got in to all of them!! Why did I choose journalism???

Anyways, so I made cheesecake. And it was good!! I was so proud of me. It was dulce de leche cheesecake. With whipped cream on top. I'm awesome :D

And so now me and Jack have planned another trip. I know, I said no more extra trips besides Vegas and my bday, but it was just too good. We're going to stay in a yurt at Algonquin Park. It's gonna be so fun!! I wanted to go stay in a yurt for my bday last year, but it was cold and ppl didn't want to come, and so I didn't really plan it. But this time, we decided we wanted to, so we made the facebook event and invited ppl. And so far, it's me, Jack, Kasia, Tom, Jarx, and Krystal. I'm so excited!! I'm so glad me and Jack planned it.

But I didn't invite Anthony. Should I feel bad, or is it okay?? I mean, me and him aren't friends, and I don't even have him on facebook or msn anymore, so I guess I shouldn't, but I kinda do. I dont' feel as bad as I did when we were at the cottage, but that really wasn't me. I don't know, maybe I should just ignore it and not think about him at all. It seems like a better plan. I mean, he already has a new whore (yes, another one), so obviously he's moved on. Or he misses what we had so much that he's willing to jump onto anything without a penis that says hi. You know, I like that theory better. But yeah, so even thought I don't really miss him anymore, I should move past it completely, and stop worrying about him and what he does and how he's doing and everything. I can get to where I can start paying attention to the guys who msg me.

Which reminds me, does anyone know who these guys are?? They tell me that they've found me through a friend, but we have no friends in common. I mean, they add me and start sending me stuff and talking to me, but I have no freaking clue who they are. They aren't all bad looking, but you know, that's not the point. Send me real ppl, damn it, not internet ppl!!

So happy news, I got an 84% on my psychology test!! I'm so awesome that I got it without having to read the book!! I know, I'm amazing. It's a gift. But no, seriously, I'm so happy with me. Yeah, I know, I should have read the book like I was supposed to, but oh, well. Maybe next time I will!!

Anyways, it's 12:30 and I should be heading to bed. I still have to make a post on my psych webct, though, which sucks. But I need sleep. And some clean clothes. I think I shall do some laundry tomorrow. Haha, I've been saying that for like a month. Obviously I have way too many clothes!!!

Anyways, nighty night.
Susana

I'm not completely fixed, but at least I'm not broken anymore.

Hallo all. So it's been two months since my last update, and I decided it was about time to write again. More importantly, I decided I was ready to write about my last two months.

So me and Anthony are over. I mean, we were already over the last time I posted, but I was still hopefull back then, and it may have seemed like I was just waiting. Which I'm done doing. I realized I was just waiting almost a month ago, and I have done my best to move on since then. And I think I'm doing well.

On a happy note, at least from where I stand, him and his whore broke up. And you know, it shoudn't matter, but it did. And yes, I was happy when I found out. Regardless of if I had a right to be happy about it or not, I was. And I kinda expected him to call. But he didn't, and I've moved on from that.

So Chris Daughtry's song "Over You" is my favourite song right now. It's funny how it says exactly how I feel. Almost, anyways. I've only seen Anthony twice since I got back, once was for like 30 seconds and only the back of his head, and the second time was for like a minute and a half. And you know, all I felt was mad. Mainly because I'd just found out some things, but I wanted to hit him.

I've decided we'll prolly never be friends. I mean, we weren't before, so I don't see why we have to be now. Plus, I don't think that I could forgive him and ever trust him again, even as a friend.

But yeah, on to other, better, happier topics. So I'm not in journalism anymore. I freaking hated it. So I dropped it. I think I'm gonna do PR. I mean, I loved it before, and I loved working at Fox. I don't know why I didn't do it when I got in two years ago, I'd almost be done now!! But yeah, so I'm currenlty working on the part-time certificate, in the study of human behaviour. I have three online classes this semester (politics, psychology, and sociology), and I have one next semester (political geography).

And so I work full-time now. At ADT Security Services. I work in the installation department. Robin works there too (in another dept), and so does Nicole Prouxl, who I went to high school with (she sits in the same dept with me). It's pretty good. I get paid $13/hr, which is great for someone like me (no rent or big bills). And it's not something that I dread going to every morning. I hate waking up, but work isn't the reason for that. It's just 'cause I'm lazy and want more sleep.

And so now I'm making money. And I'm paying my own phone bill, and credit card bill, and the digital cable here at home. And I have enough money left to go out and stuff. I'm kinda proud of myself for taking care of my stuff now instead of having to rely on someone else. It feels really good, believe me. To be able to go out, and shop, and use eBay, and go anywhere I want to without having to ask someone for permission and for money. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner!!

And I've been doing what I said I would, which was to have more fun. In the two months since I got back from Montreal, I've been to the trailer for a weekend, Gavin's cottage twice (with a big group and a little group), to Collingwood for Kiki's bday, to Ohio to see a concert (Three Days Grace, Sum 41, Finger Eleven), to a few clubs, and to see "We Will Rock You," the musical. It's been pretty good. In my opinion, I've done more in the last two months than in the last two years. And there's so much more planned.

And I'm going to Las Vegas!!! I'm going with Jarx and one of his friends. We're leaving here on Oct 31, and coming back on Nov 4th. It's gonna be so much fun!! I've already booked a day-long trip to the Grand Canyon with Jarx, and a tour of Vegas/Red Rock Canyon by myself!! And we're driving down to the California border to take a pic with the "Welcome to Nevada" sign. A nd I've got Jarx to agree to go to a club!! It was pretty easy, I just convinced him to go to the Playboy Club, because I want to go to the one attached to it. They're on like the 55th floor!! I just want a pic of the view.

So we're not planning on sleeping, because we've got way too much stuff we want to do!!! The plane and hotel are already booked. And no, we're not staying on nthe strip, we're staying right behind a hotel on the strip. Whatever, cheaper and just as close to the action!!

For New Year's, Rose and Carri are coming. I'm so excited!! I miss them so much. Montreal was so freaking good, I wish I'd been able to enjoy it more. And looking back on it now, I'm glad I was there when the whole thing with Anthony happened, it was prolly the best place for me to be. I mean, no one there knew him, no one here knew the ppl there, and I could do anything!! And I mean, it was great to never have to sit alone in my room and feel sad. I always had ppl in there, Carri, Rose, Nigel, Tiffany....always in there!! And they didn't let me sit there and feel bad, they made me go out and party and go clubbing and walk around and go eat and stuff. And we drank more in that month than I did in the last year!!! And look at the pretty boys.....I didn't really learn any french, but really, did I expect to?? Maybe I'll go again next year!!

Yeah, I'm excited about New Year's. Hopefully they do come and we can have a huge party. It's gonna be so good!!

And then for my bday, I want to go somewhere warm. Preferrably the Dominican Republic, but I can deal with almost any other beachy country. I'm determined to spend my bday on the freaking beach. It will happen, I tell you!! It will!!

And then after all that, I think I'm gonna buy me a car. A used one. A van. A caravan. Yes, I'm specific. I'd need one if I want to go somewhere with my mom, and Patrick, and Gaby, and if I want to go camping and all that. I'm determined that by next summer, I will be licensed and on the road in my own car. We'll see how that works out. Technically, I should be able to do it. Unless Jarx calls me and does what he did this time. "So we're going to Vegas, you have to buy your ticket by tomorrow. Let me know." And then proceed to convince me to go. Which I guess wasn't too hard, considering I was dying to go anyways. But whatever, trip's paid, and I don't owe anyone anything for the ticket. Well, $70 to my mom, which is what I had to borrow, but that's really not bad for a $420 ticket!!!

You know, I feel better now. I feel stronger and more independant than ever before. until someone mentiones him. Then I shatter. But otherwise, I'm good. It's been a little hard this weekend, I'm used to having at least two Thanksgiving dinners, even three. But now, it's just one. Worst part is, I loved his family. Seeing his cousing and aunts and uncles. I'm gonna miss that.

Anyways, bedtime for me. I have to get up tomorrow and clean my room and do laundry and homework. I have no clean clothes and I'm falling behind on assignments!! And then monday we have dinner :D Ela's coming over, and so is Amber. It should be good. I'm making cheesecake for the first time!! Keep your fingers crossed!!

Okay, until next time!!

Oh, and does anyone know any single guys?? Blind date!! Hahahaha!!
Susana