It's a new year, which means it's time for all those resolutions I'll have forgotten about by next week!!

So we made it to 2013.  It's amazing how fast time goes.  Was it really ten years ago that I spent New Year's Eve in El Salvador??  Was it really almost a decade since I finished high school?? Was the first Christmas Dinner that Kasia and I hosted really twelve years ago?!?!

Wow.  I feel like all this time has gone by and I haven't noticed.

Regardless, in the spirit of it being a new year, I figured I'd be cliched and come up with some goals for the year.  I don't want to call them resolutions, since that title is just begging for me to break them ASAP, so goals works for me.

Anyways, here they are, in no particular order:

1. Get a real job.  Not a temporary, for now, or in the meantime type of job, an actual full-time, permanent position.  With benefits.  The whole temp thing just isn't working out for me.  I need something with a little more security and longevity.

2. Move out.  I'd love to have my own place, and it'll have to happen this year.  Currently, I live at my mom's, but she'll move in with her boyfriend soon, which means I'll definitely have to find somewhere.  Somewhere in Sauga, I think, not downtown.  And I don't want to look for a roommate, I'd rather have my own place. As for moving in with Matt, well, I have no idea.  I like the idea of seeing him every day and sleeping next to him every night and waking up to him every morning, but I also like the idea of having my own space and decorating how I want to and getting the chance to live on my own.  Plus, I have no idea how he feels about moving out with me anymore, since I tossed us aside.  Twice.

3. Go on vacation.  Not camping, but somewhere that I can lay on the beach, drink lots, and not have to worry about a goddamned thing.  Cuba, maybe??  Or somewhere different, like St Maarten??  Just somewhere that if I wanted to do nothing for a week, I could.  Even El Salvador would be good, although that would be much more heartbreaking to leave than anywhere else.

4. Go somewhere new.  Similar to the vacation one, but with more doing.  Maybe sightseeing or a tour or hiking or whatever.  Machu Picchu??  Thailand?? Somewhere new and interesting and awesome.  Honestly, I'd even settle for somewhere closer and less exotic, but till new.  New Orleans??

5. Learn a new language.  Or possibly work on the two half languages I know (Spanish and French).  Maybe learn some new Polish words??  The last few I learned were a few years ago.  Time to add something to my mental translator!!

6. Finish a story.  I've been stuck for the last while and haven't been able to write too much, even tough I have an incredible amount of ideas.  Maybe I can work on getting them out??  I've still got some up on my FanFiction profile, and I've got maybe 20 pages of another. I've also got like 35 pages of an original story, and a bunch of stories left anywhere from 2 to 5 pages.  I really should work on those.

7. Find a new hobby.  I keep saying photography or painting, but I do neither.  So I need to give them my all or get off the pot and find some new ones.  I can't imagine me knitting or anything.  Cooking??  Maybe more event planning??  I do love me some planning.  I could definitely make that into something fun!!

8. Pay off debts.  Honestly, I need to do this.  If I'm smart about it, and I find a job soon, I should technically be able to pay off all the people I owe money to, and fix quite a bit of my credit, this year.  I obviously can't finish OSAP this year, but I could do almost everything else.  Or, quite possibly, everything else.  Let's aim for as much as possible and hope it goes well, okay??

9. Lose weight.  I have to find a way to get rid of at least 60 lbs.  HAVE TO.  I can't use any machines or go crazy (stupid back), so I've gotta take up swimming and an aerobics class. Maybe I'll join Kasia in  Zumba, as much as I don't like it.  I've also gotta do yoga or something to help stretch out my back.

10. Relax.  Be healthy.  Smile.  Honestly, I need to just learn to enjoy life and laugh it off when it goes wrong.  I need to not blow everything out of proportion and I need to not over think everything and stress myself out to the point I get panic attacks.  I need to be on the offensive much less and not bite everyone's head off.  I need to think less for me and more for others, and sometimes, I need to think the opposite.

Wow, that's more than I planned to set for myself.  I don't think they're hard, though.  At least, most of them aren't, so I should be able to find ways to get them done, right??  Or possibly, and maybe even more realistically, I'll forget all about them until the end of the year.

My happy fiction writing hobby.

I used to hate writing fiction. Short story, outlines, characters - I hated all of it. There was absolutely nothing about it that I found appealing.  It was one of the reasons I hated English class in high school.

But then when I was doing my Media Foundations certificate at Humber, we had to take a class on writing. We couldn't get out of it. Most of the assignments weren't too crazy: book reviews, essays, news stories.  And finally, there was the dreaded assignment: a short story.

Of course, I hated this assignment.  Hated it.  But I sat down to write it.  And apparently I just couldn't stop - I wrote 1200 words over the limit. So after cutting and cutting and more editing, I handed it in.

When I got it back, I was not only surprised buy the 95% I got on it, but by the teacher's suggestion that I submit it to some contest and write more.

Really??  Me??  Write fiction??  Well, what an interesting idea.

Since then, I've been writing stories.  For the longest time I wrote short stories; they were maybe 1500 words or so each.  But then I decided I should write something longer.  And I've been working on some for a while now.

The problem isn't coming up with the idea - I have tons of those.  It's not even creating characters - I can do those pretty easily too.  The problem is that I get bored and start a new one.  The problem is that my attention span isn't long enough to finish one story.  Currently I'm working on (as in writing the story, not just planning) a few: In The Midst Of Lies, which is a crime thriller; a fan fiction story; a story that Wikipedia tells me is considered 'high fantasy'; and random short stories.

I have tons of characters in my head, and they all want to come out and tell me their story.  I just can't find the right mix of things - setting, plot, and characters - to make the story work properly.

I also try to plan out the story too much, I think, and I end up changing what I started with. It also happens often that I start writing and the story changes as I go and it ruins the carefully researched outline. Sometimes, though, I start writing with no idea of who the characters are, what the story is, or even what the next sentence will be!!  These are often pretty good, either for short stories or to build on. 

I do love the planning part: creating characters, coming up with plots and twists and secrets, creating worlds.  I love it.  I could plan book after book after book and never write anything.  Really, I have a shit-ton of characters amd creatures and plot ideas and locations and research.

Have I mentioned that I absolutely LOVE research??  I wish I could find a job as a researcher.  I'd love to research all day, every day.  That would be freaking incredible.  If someone knows of a research job, please let me know.  It'd make me so happy!!

Anyways, so I think I've got a story right now that might work out.  At least, it's looking pretty interesting.  Hopefully I'll be able to stick to it and actually write it all.  The story I see in my head is kinda awesome.

Writing fiction has become an escape for me.  when life gets to stressful or crazy or sad, I write a better world or an awesome adventure. I don't think I write with the idea of submitting my book anywhere, I just like to write.  Then again, if I finish, and I think I've written the best damn story there ever was, well, then I may just have to look around.  Maybe one day you'll see my name while walking through Chapters!! Wouldn't that be awesome??

That would be the best thing to ever happen in the history of all things that ever happened.

Neeeeed rum!! But still, happy week overall.

So it's been a month, and I thought I'd stop by and say hello. So I guess it's time to update yet again?? Not much has happened, really, but I guess I should start.

So the Toronto Star was looking for people to be bloggers for the provincial election. Every blogger would get a riding, and cover all issues for that riding. They'd do at least one story a week, and three the week of the election. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I filled out the application and sent it off. That was two weeks ago.

And then yesterday they got back to me. And I got it!! I'm super excited!! I know it's not paid, and it's not really a regular writing job, but still, I got it!! They're gonna have a page for each blogger, with picture, bio, and links to all posts. And all the posts will be up on their site!! And possibly in the newspaper!! I am seriously excited. I need to find a way to use this a step towards more news writing and jobs.

For my regular, paid work, I'm still at RBC. They keep extending my contract, which makes me happy. I'm hoping they decide to turn it into a permanent, full-time position. I guess for now I'll just keep my fingers crossed.

I was supposed to go camping this weekend, just Matt and I, but sadly, we can't go. I can't say I'm not upset, 'cause I am, but I know it's not Matt's fault. I was just so looking forward to NOT being here this weekend, it's kinda hard to be happy that plans are cancelled. But Matt has to work, so here I stay. But we are planning to reschedule it, and I'm super happy that he's agreed to go to Tobermory that weekend. I love it up there. It'll be uber cold, but it's too pretty to not go there. Maybe I can find someone with a portable generator?? Or maybe, if you're the one who has mine (it went missing), you can give it back to me!! I'd appreciate it.

So this weekend instead I'm going to the Canada vs. St Lucia world cup qualifier, and I'm kinda excited. You know, I've been to quite a few games this year, for someone who doesn't like sports. But I'm excited. Also, I plan to include rum. Lots of rum. I really have been wanting some lately. I'll settle for tequila, too :)

I'm also planning to bring down all the furniture in the room and bring all of mine up. Also, paint the room. I'm thinking brown with pink (or maybe teal) accents. Also, poem on the wall. I'm gonna put the Riddle of Strider (yes, I am a nerd). It's gonna look awesome. Hopefully.

I'm also hoping to maybe work on my writing. I need to do something with it. I have to decide if my love of writing and blogging will ever win over my love of lazy. My soccer blog could be so good, if I wasn't lazy. I also started another one, but I don't want to put it up here. Maybe once it has a few ppl following it I'll do it. Maybe. Also, my story needs working on. I'll never get better, or get anywhere, if I don't work on it!! Must get on that.

And for those who'd like to know, Nelson got into school for January. He's going to Humber, for something computer-related. Network technician?? Maybe. Either way, it's super news and I'm uber happy for him!! So if you see/talk/BBM/msg/text/stalk/whatever him, tell him congrats!!

Wow, that was more than I planned to write. So I think I'm done. Also, I'm at work, so I should really be focusing on that. And I still have to come up for a title for this shit!! Ugh. Why is life so hard??

~Suz

A Happy Update - I know, so rare!!

Hallo there, pretty people!!

So I thought I'd do a quick update. It's been like three weeks since I turned old, so I guess it's time for an entry.

First off, work. So I've just been hired as a freelance reporter for the Mississauga News. Now, this isn't a full-time, monday to friday job. It's more of an on-call thing, where if one of their employees can't cover something, or they have people on vacation, then they call me. The upside to this is that this is a paid journalism job. As in, I will get assignments, I'll write them up, and they'll be printed. And they can all go into my portfolio, and hopefully that means I'll be able to get a full-time writing job soon. So this is super great. I am now officially a journalist. High school goal: complete!! :D

On to something else awesome: the first weekend in April I'm going up to Ottawa with a bunch of people to attend my first ever NHL game!!! I'm not a hockey fan, but I am super excited!! It's Ottawa vs. Toronto. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm glad Nick invited Jess and I. Maybe it'll turn me into a hockey fan?? I can always try :)

My fan fiction stories are now up. Two are one-shots (so basically a short, one chapter story), and one is multi-chapter. So far only one chapter is up, but I'm working on it. I've already had a few people put it on alert, which makes me incredibly happy. I've also worked on my other fiction story, In The Midst Of Lies, but I haven't posted the new chapters yet. Maybe tonight I will. Or tomorrow. Soon, I promise!!

My allergies are getting better. I'm on week three of the weekly shots, and it's gotten bearable now. I no longer want to rip my skin off all the time. Just sometimes. Which is way better than before, though, so I'm glad. It'll be great to not be covered in scabs and scars from freaking hives and allergies. It's just stupid.

My back started to go out again, but I refused to sit at home and cry about it this time, so it actually only lasted a few days. And most of those days were okay: I was walking around, sitting, standing, driving...even wearing heels and dancing!! Sunday was bad (it started saturday night), but after that it was okay. I think I'm actually going to look into it, though, and see what can be done about it. I can't live the rest of my life afraid of lifting something heavy, or turning the wrong way too fast, or bending funny.

So yeah, that's my update. I think it's a happy update, overall, which is kinda awesome. I like it when things go well, even if it's small things. Maybe the upward trend will continue?? I think it's about time I see some good and not shittiness. Anyways, I'll try to update ITMOL later. And you guys can all check out my fanfic stories here if you guys want.

Bye bye for now!!
~Suz