So I decided to go back and continue answering the questions I'd set up in the blogging challenge that I started forever ago. I can't even remember what's on there, so it'll be like a surprise question for me and a fun answer for you! I'll also update the reading challenge, I think, to see if I can get some of those done.
Anyways, on with the challenge!
9. Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Wow, okay, this takes me waaay back. So my first kiss was when I was 12. It was after my first date, where I went to a movie with my date and a few friends. After the movie, while we were waiting to be picked up, he kissed me. It really wasn't all that great, because, you know, we were 12. It really wasn't anything crazy or super special, but I do still remember it.
As for my first love, well, I'd have to say that depends on what you mean by love. I was head over heels in what I believed to be love when I was about 14. He was a friend, and I always regretted that there was nothing more, even when he tried to initiate it. I was too shy and afraid that it would all go wrong, as most things seemed to go in my life. But even now, I still remember the warm, fuzzy feeling I got for him and remember spending time with him fondly.
My first actual love was when I was 19. I dated someone for four years, and I most definitely loved him. Obviously, that didn't last forever, but it's been a long time since it ended, so it's not something I've thought about in a while. Either way, I'm pretty sure that technically, this would be my first love. The one at 14 was like, puppy love or infatuation or something like that.
Hallo all!! I know, it's crazy to see an update, isn't it?? It's been almost 5 years since the last one!!
So I figured I'd do a quick update of my life for those of you who follow me on here. I moved to Burlington just over two years ago, in 2017. I live with Gaby and Smush in a comfy little townhouse with a small backyard. I work in Oakville, at a pharmaceutical company that runs patient support programs. I currently work for an awesome drug that helps people breathe better.
I'm also volunteering with Girl Guides, as a Guider to my niece's Sparks unit. That means that I get to spend every Tuesday evening, as well as some weekends, with 22 girls aged 5-6 that are ridiculously excited. Also, three other adults.
I've also started to write again. It's been a while since I felt the need to be creative. I've also been playing with Illustrator, creating some prints that I have up on my Etsy store. My news site is no longer up, mainly because it took way too much time and still I wasn't able to get as many stories, or even many high quality stories, as I wanted to. I'll have to think of something else I can blog about. Books? TV shows? I don't know. If you have ideas, please feel free to let me know. I'm open to any suggestions!!
Also, I've discovered podcasts. Since I'm not on a patient phone line and I have no patient contact, I get to have headphones in all day and podcasts became my new thing. Let me tell you, Crime Junkie is definitely my favourite. There's a few other good ones, but I'm still definitely addicted to True Crime.
What else?? Ooooh, I have a kitty!! Her name is Peppermint, and I love her so, so, so much. She just wants to be loved an cuddled. She seriously is the best cat. She doesn't fight you, she doesn't scratch, she doesn't climb or destroy things....she really just wants to sit on your lap so you can pet her. I wasn't soo sure about her when I got her, but it was supposed to be a temporary relocation for her. But now, there's no way in hell I'm letting her leave. She's my baby and with me she'll stay.
Hmmm...family update. Let's see....we're good. Gaby's in McMaster, doing her second year. Smush is in grade one, in French Immersion, and seems to like it. Nelson is living in a condo with Nakisha and they've both got good jobs and a ridiculous puppy. Jose is living in Toronto, doing pretty good for himself. Kienan is in his third year at Guelph and in the army. Mom and Aidan just bought a boat (yay!!) and are still happy together. Overall, I think the family's doing pretty good.
Okay, so that's my update. Maybe I'll try and get one here to update again. I still have that list thing I was doing, the blogging challenge. Maybe I'll finish it? Or maybe I'll talk to you guys again in a few years. Who knows, right!!
I know I haven't been on here in FOREVER, but I promise, I plan to be back with slightly more regular updates soon!! I've started updating both Since You Asked and Girls Love Soccer Too, so you should def check those out for now!!
In the meantime, I thought I'd leave you with this picture that's been making the rounds on Facebook. Honestly, I love it. I'm happy with the election results, and I'm happy with the cabinet. I know, I know, we still have to see if they can actually do any good, but I'm not gonna lie, it looks promising!! Let's hope we didn't just give Justin Trudeau our trust and a huge show of faith just to get majorly screwed!!
Anyways, I'll be back with an actual update sometime in the next week. Maybe this weekend?? We'll see. I'll try, but I'm also gonna attempt to write two blog posts for each of the other sites as well as clean my room and do my laundry and maybe organize some shit....or I'll prolly just end up reading and doing nothing productive. Either way, I'll try!!
8. What is the hardest thing you have ever experiences?
I don't know that I could pick just one thing that has been the hardest. At the time they were happening, there are many things that I felt were incredibly hard and would never end or get better, but looking back, they weren't really all that bad.
I guess if I were to pick a one of these experiences, I'd have to say my parents' divorce was probably the hardest. Not just because they were splitting up, but because my dad was pretty manipulative with our feelings and picked favourites between my siblings and I to play us off each other, but also because my mom, in an effort to move on, jumped into a relationship with a man I absolutely hated.
Of course, there were other things involved in this terrible time in my life, and it led to me being an angry and depressed teen that tried to end it all, and honestly, I'm still an angry (although less so) and emotional adult. But thankfully the anger and resentment doesn't rule my life as much as it used to.
Recently, I'd have to say that my dog's death hit me hard. I loved him more than I love some of the people in my life, and I honestly thought he'd be around for years and years to come. I've been lucky most of my life, never having really lost anyone. The last funeral I remember was my grandpa, and I was 6 at the time. So death wasn't something that touched me, and this felt like it came out of nowhere. Even now, a year and a half later, I can remember what it was like to hug him and sometimes I stare at the places he used to sit and picture him there. I miss him so, so much.
Bucket lists have always interested me. I’ve never really understood
why they were called bucket lists, though. I guess it’s because it’s
things you wanna do before you kick the bucket??
Seems a little weird to me, but you know, English is pretty weird that
way. I’ve taken to calling them bucket lists now, though, because it’s
what everyone else seems to know them as, and it’s just easier than
explaining why you hate the name every time you use it.
Anyways, so I’ve had one made long before I knew what they were
called, and even now, I continue to add to it. I think I was nine years
old when I first started writing down the list I’d been keeping in my
head for as long as I could remember. Some items have never changed
(hug a panda, see the northern lights, learn to surf), while others have
been added as soon as I discovered it was possible to do them or that
they existed (swim with sharks, write a book, walk the Skywalk at the Grand Canyon).
Thankfully, I’ve crossed a few off my list: I’ve climbed a volcano, visited Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, camped at Bruce Peninsula National Park, climbed a pyramid (well, technically a ziggurat, but I’m not gonna be picky).
I figured I’d list a few here for you all, in case you need some
inspiration. Of course, there’s other, less photo-friendly items on my
list, like write a novel, learn a new language, see a broadway play,
spend the night in a haunted house, learn to drive standard, and visit
all 50 states. Plus, you know, ride a hot air balloon, swim with dolphins, go horseback riding, go paragliding, see the Sphinx…. you get the point, I’m sure.
I would love to see the Cristo Redentor and Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
The Galapagos Islands, Ecuador. The animals aren't afraid of people!!
Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!
Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!
J.K. Rowling is my idol, and I'd love to meet her.
Machu Picchu has always been at the top of my list.
Hadrian's Wall, Northern England.
Jasper National Park in Alberta, Canada.
The Festival of Lanterns in Thailand. It looks like it'd be so beautiful to watch!!
Kid Cudi. His lyrics are incredible, and I'd love to tell him how much I admire him and his honesty.
African Safari. I think it'd be amazing!! Hopefully one day it'll happen for me.
Angkor Wat in Cambodia. I'd love to watch the sunrise.
Party in Rio de Janeiro for the Carnival.
The Great Wall of China.
Own a pair of Louboutins. They're just so pretty!!
See the Northern Lights (aka Aurora Borealis).
Hug a panda!!
Skydive
So there you go. I’m sure I’ll come up with others as time goes by,
and hopefully I’ll get to knock some off my list soon. I’m hoping that
within the next year I can go horseback riding and maybe ziplining
or skydiving. I wanted to get cliff jumping out the of the way, but
instead I jumped off a high ledge inside a cave, which I’m not sure
counts as a cliff. And next year, a trip for sure. Maybe Machu Picchu
and the Inca Trail?? Maybe Comic Con in San Diego?? Or maybe I’ll just
buy a pair of Louboutin leather boots (and/or sparkly stilettos). I’d
so love that!!
What’s on your bucket list??
This one is fairly similar to the last blog challenge question, but I'll answer it anyways.
Well,
considering I spend most of my life stressed out and in a somewhat
freaking out mode, de-stressing doesn't come all that easy. There are a
few things I can do, however, that help me to calm down and just take a
breath.
1. The beach and swimming. Sadly, seeing as I
live in Toronto, there is no ocean beach or even really nice, clean,
swimable area nearby, so my favourite place is Sauble Beach. At about 2
1/2 - 3 hours away (depending on traffic and how you drive), it's a
beautiful place to go.
Panorama of Sauble Beach.
2. Organizing and decorating and
cleaning. Yes, I know it seems weird, but when I'm really stressed,
cleaning my space helps. It's like I'm metaphorically cleaning my head
as I throw out garbage and make space around me and place everything
where it should go in a neat and orderly fashion. Usually, this is
followed by me re-decorating or moving stuff around and putting new
stuff up.
3. Reading. Unfortunately, this has been
loosing its calming factor lately. I get agitated and distracted much
easier than I used to. Although I did just start a new book (well, new to me) called The Baghdad Blogger by Salam Pax, which is pretty freaking interesting. I've also started to read World War Z by Max Brooks, and I've got a copy of The Cuckoo's Calling by Roberth Galbraith (a.k.a. JK Rowling) waiting for me.
4. Driving. Preferably by
myself and for a fair distance, with music blasting and singing as loud
as I can possibly sing. Even better if this ends at a beach. I also like driving adventures with friends, where we just go, without thought to where. It leads to some pretty interesting places!!
5. Tobermory. I definitely de-stress there. It's my favourite place in the world, and I'd go there any time, for however long, with whoever wants to see it. Just hike to a nice spot and sit down and stare out at the lake. It's a good feeling, especially if you've worked hard to hike to that spot. And the water, regardless of how cold it is, is amazing. Clear blue, it looks like you could be in the Caribbean. Here's a few pics I took on the latest trip there for your viewing pleasure:
The view at Pebble Beach.
The view on the way to Cave Point, the highest point in the park.
Tom and Kacper enjoying the rocks (and waves) and Half Dump Log.
Kacper walking into the water at Half Dump Log.
That's
all I can really think of. Nothing lately has really been helping me
calm down, as money and work and life have become an incredible weight
on my shoulders. The week in Tobermory helped, but now it's back to applying for jobs and getting my life back on track.
So I'm not sure how many of you are aware that my sister is having a baby, but come August, I'll be the proud aunt of one Reina Fae Oppenheimer. Well, at least that's the name they've chosen for now.
Gaby's ultrasound from a few days ago. She's at 20 weeks.
I'm so excited!! You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to smushing and cuddling and hugging that baby. I also get to buy it a lot of cute outfits, and help dress her to look adorable. And the shoes!! Baby shoes are freaking cute!! I may or may not already have a (secret) Pinterest board for stuff I plan to get.
I can't help it, there are just so many adorable things out there for little girls!! Like these:
And I also get to instill in her a love of all things Hello Kitty. I will buy the shit out of everything Hello Kitty offers.
I'm also really looking forward to, hopefully, teaching her how to love reading. I love it, and I did everything I could (and succeeded!!) to make sure Gaby also loved it. Now I get to make sure her daughter is the same. Somehow, I will also make her love camping and going places. Not right away, of course, but in time. Maybe it'll finally be time for that Disney family vacation we never took, right??
I also get to plan the baby shower. Nothing crazy, but it'll be nice. We're thinking a jungle theme, and my mom's friend Elsa is going to be making lots and lots of Mexican food, along with the snacks and appetizers I make. And Gaby's asked me to make a cake, which hopefully will turn out nicely.
And, on the last bit of exciting news, guess who's the godmother?? That's right, ME!! I'm happy Gaby's asked me to be, as I plan to be there for her daughter through anything and everything, good times and bad. I'll make sure that no matter what kind of life she has, or what kind of world we live in, there will always be a safe have for her to go to and someone to talk to. Because that's my job as aunt, as godmother, and really, as someone who loves her already.
Anyways, this is super exciting!! If you see or talk to Gaby, feel free to congratulate her. I know she'd love to hear it.
It's weird. I mean, there's nothing big about 29. You can't drive or vote or drink for the first time, and it's not some big marking point, like a quarter century. You're not even hitting that fearsome new decade.
But it does mark the last year if your 20s. It kinda feels to me as though it may be the last year of your youth. I know, I know, it's not that drastic, and I'm honestly not as afraid of my 30s as I may sound. But I do feel that I'm hitting that age where I should totally have my life together and be an adult.
When I was younger, I was suer that by this time I'd have a career, I'd travel often, I'd speak more languages. I thought maybe I'd be married, have a kid or two, definitely have some dogs. When I was teen, I as sure that by this time I'd be in some war zone, reporting to the world what's happening. Sadly, the reality isn't as awesome. But things can change, right??
I have heard that the 30s is the new 20s, and I'm totally gonna choose to believe that's true. Bad times aside for me, I feel like the 30s could be as awesome, if not more so than my 20s. Even though my friends and I are getting to that age where houses and weddings are common, I don't feel like we're slowing down the fun. Parties are still happening, clubs are still being hit up, and New Year's is still epic. Road trips are still a go, and new places are still being visited.
Me, all dressed up for our 2012 New Year's Eve Burlesque Ball.
So I've decided that I'm going to look at my 29th year as time to get ready for what's sure to make an awesome 30s. You know, do all the stuff I should have done by now: find a stable, permanent job, get my car back on the road, get my finances back on track. Moving out would also be ideal, although in the end, being roommates with my brothers may not be so bad for a while.
Hopefully, by the time I hit my 30s next year, I'll be set and ready to live life. Hopefully I can spend a great part of that decade seeing the world and enjoy the amazing places and do the awesome things that have been on my list for years: do the hike to Machu Picchu, see the northern lights, visit Angkor Wat, learn to surf, go skydiving. Maybe take some classes, learn to cook like a chef, take pictures like a pro, or learn to paint like Bob Ross.
But those awesome things will come later. This year will be all about working towards travel. Working towards stability. Working towards the being able to do the things I want to do, even if it's only on the weekends. It'll also hopefully be a year to get myself healthy enough to live through my 30s. Lose weight, eat healthy, take yoga for my back. Maybe even get some Lasik.
Also, I need to write more. I don't write enough, which is sad, because it calms me down and makes me happy.
So here's to another year older, another year done, and hopefully a great many more to come!!
So we made it to 2013. It's amazing how fast time goes. Was it really ten years ago that I spent New Year's Eve in El Salvador?? Was it really almost a decade since I finished high school?? Was the first Christmas Dinner that Kasia and I hosted really twelve years ago?!?!
Wow. I feel like all this time has gone by and I haven't noticed.
Regardless, in the spirit of it being a new year, I figured I'd be cliched and come up with some goals for the year. I don't want to call them resolutions, since that title is just begging for me to break them ASAP, so goals works for me.
Anyways, here they are, in no particular order:
1. Get a real job. Not a temporary, for now, or in the meantime type of job, an actual full-time, permanent position. With benefits. The whole temp thing just isn't working out for me. I need something with a little more security and longevity.
2. Move out. I'd love to have my own place, and it'll have to happen this year. Currently, I live at my mom's, but she'll move in with her boyfriend soon, which means I'll definitely have to find somewhere. Somewhere in Sauga, I think, not downtown. And I don't want to look for a roommate, I'd rather have my own place. As for moving in with Matt, well, I have no idea. I like the idea of seeing him every day and sleeping next to him every night and waking up to him every morning, but I also like the idea of having my own space and decorating how I want to and getting the chance to live on my own. Plus, I have no idea how he feels about moving out with me anymore, since I tossed us aside. Twice.
3. Go on vacation. Not camping, but somewhere that I can lay on the beach, drink lots, and not have to worry about a goddamned thing. Cuba, maybe?? Or somewhere different, like St Maarten?? Just somewhere that if I wanted to do nothing for a week, I could. Even El Salvador would be good, although that would be much more heartbreaking to leave than anywhere else.
4. Go somewhere new. Similar to the vacation one, but with more doing. Maybe sightseeing or a tour or hiking or whatever. Machu Picchu?? Thailand?? Somewhere new and interesting and awesome. Honestly, I'd even settle for somewhere closer and less exotic, but till new. New Orleans??
5. Learn a new language. Or possibly work on the two half languages I know (Spanish and French). Maybe learn some new Polish words?? The last few I learned were a few years ago. Time to add something to my mental translator!!
6. Finish a story. I've been stuck for the last while and haven't been able to write too much, even tough I have an incredible amount of ideas. Maybe I can work on getting them out?? I've still got some up on my FanFiction profile, and I've got maybe 20 pages of another. I've also got like 35 pages of an original story, and a bunch of stories left anywhere from 2 to 5 pages. I really should work on those.
7. Find a new hobby. I keep saying photography or painting, but I do neither. So I need to give them my all or get off the pot and find some new ones. I can't imagine me knitting or anything. Cooking?? Maybe more event planning?? I do love me some planning. I could definitely make that into something fun!!
8. Pay off debts. Honestly, I need to do this. If I'm smart about it, and I find a job soon, I should technically be able to pay off all the people I owe money to, and fix quite a bit of my credit, this year. I obviously can't finish OSAP this year, but I could do almost everything else. Or, quite possibly, everything else. Let's aim for as much as possible and hope it goes well, okay??
9. Lose weight. I have to find a way to get rid of at least 60 lbs. HAVE TO. I can't use any machines or go crazy (stupid back), so I've gotta take up swimming and an aerobics class. Maybe I'll join Kasia in Zumba, as much as I don't like it. I've also gotta do yoga or something to help stretch out my back.
10. Relax. Be healthy. Smile. Honestly, I need to just learn to enjoy life and laugh it off when it goes wrong. I need to not blow everything out of proportion and I need to not over think everything and stress myself out to the point I get panic attacks. I need to be on the offensive much less and not bite everyone's head off. I need to think less for me and more for others, and sometimes, I need to think the opposite.
Wow, that's more than I planned to set for myself. I don't think they're hard, though. At least, most of them aren't, so I should be able to find ways to get them done, right?? Or possibly, and maybe even more realistically, I'll forget all about them until the end of the year.
4. What are five things that make you happy right now?
Huh. Well....I don't know. I guess this means five different things, so I can't just list five songs. 'Cause five songs would be easy. Listening to me sing might not make most of you too happy, but that's what earplugs are for!! I guess that means I can't just make a list of five people either??
I'm sure I can come up with something...hopefully.
1. Music. There are bunch of songs right now that make me super happy. If I was looking to cheer up, or I was in a good mood and wanted to sing along, I'd turn on almost anything from Ke$ha's latest CD, Warrior, or Fun.'s "Some Nights". Both make me happy. And if I was looking for older songs that always make me happy, I'd go for some nostalgia: maybe some BSB, some Spice Girls, maybe some Big Shiny Tunes song. Or maybe I'll put on some Rise Against and some Linkin Park and rock out. That makes me happy too.
2. Planing an event. I don't know why, but this makes me so freaking happy. I love planning everything about an event: invites, music, food, decor. I love coordinating everything and planning out all the logistical things most people consider a nightmare. I just finished two awesome events (a Confused Christmas dinner and Burlesque New Year's Eve) and pretty soon I'll be planning something for my bday. I have no idea as of yet what to do, but I'm sure I'll think of something epic!! And if anyone has any events they want help planning, or maybe you just want to have a party but don't want to plan, then let me know!! I'm totally up for planning anything!!
3. Driving. I've always loved to drive. Even before I had a car, I'd always be the one driving Kasia's car. Since I've gotten my car, I get a lot more alone driving time. Which I didn't like at first. But now, I love it!! I try to drive with the windows down, regardless of the temperature, and with the music as loud as I can get it.
4. Apple TV and Netflix. For Christmas, Matt was awesome and got me Apple TV, which we'd figured out (thanks to Robin) how to change so we'd be able to access American Netflix. I was iffy Apple TV at first, but once I saw the difference between Canadian Netflix (which sucks) and American Netflix (which is freaking awesome!!), I was sold!! I haven't been an avid TV watcher lately, since I only watch one show, but that's totally changing. Currently, I'm watching Supernatural, which is totally a me show (hot guys, ghosts and other supernatural things, scary and cheesy scenes), and Doctor Who, which is awesome and full of accents!! I've also been watching a lot of documentaries, mainly National Geographic ones, which are incredibly good. You'd be surprised at the different topics they have!! Right now I'm watching one all about zombies and where the idea comes form and if it really is possible to have a zombie apocalypse. It's super interesting!!
5. Reading. As always, reading is my main escape and makes me incredibly happy. The last two book series (serieses??) I read were The Mortal Instruments, by Cassandra Clare, which I loved to death, and the Divergent & Insurgent books by Veronica Roth, which are also really freaking awesome!! Both are being made into movies, although Mortal Instruments is coming out this year, while Divergent hasn't even been filmed yet. I'm super excited about Mortal Instruments, though, you have no idea. I plan to be there on opening night!! Writing usually makes me happy too, but in the last few weeks I've hit a block. I have ideas, but I just can't find the words to get the out. It's weird, but hopefully it'll get better soon.
And there you have it!! It actually made me feel better to list things that make me happy. I'm totally gonna watch more documentaries and try to write more. And I guess I should attempt to write more blog posts, too, while I'm at it??
So it's been a few months since I wrote on here, and I've decided I need to go back to writing and sharing my wonderful and oh-so-important opinion with you all. But first, an update on my life!!
Let's try to do this quickly, shall we??
Health: Okay now. I threw out my back and then had the flu, but I seem to be in okay working order now. Joined a gym (which had to be put in hold by the aforementioned health issues), but I'll be getting back into that in the next few days. I've even convinced Jenn to join!! Maybe we'll do some yoga?? I hear that's good for your back.
Work: None. I was on contract, and they ended it (rather abruptly, if you ask me!!), so I'm back to looking. I'm gonna try and find something writing related, although I'll be applying for admin too. I do not want to be unemployed for longer than a week. Or maybe two, since next week I need a day off. But after that...work!!
Living Space: I'm still at my mom's. I'm trying to be smarter this time and wait until I have a stable, full time, permanent job before I move. Sadly, that seems to be impossible for me to find. But once I do, I'm totally moving out!! Hopefully somewhere in Mississauga. And if not, somewhere near a highway so people will visit me.
Family: Gaby's off at McMaster, doing first year humanities, and Nelson's back Humber doing Network Engineering Technologist (I think??). I'm super happy for them. Jose and I haven't killed each other yet, so I'd say it's a success!! And my mom's happy and doing her thing with Aidan in Burlington.
School: I'm taking law classes at George Brown. I was thinking paralegal, but I've been advised that what I want to be (according to the image in my head) is a law clerk. So I'm gonna look into that.
Love: Matt and I are currently not together. It's pretty much my fault, and honestly, I'm not sure yet what the right decision is. It's been 3 days and I already miss him so much.
Life: Lots of partying. I've been to at least one party every weekend for the last two months. This Friday, there's a wedding (yeah for open bar and then hotel party!!) and then there's still a club bday, a house party bday, an open bar and 3-course meal bday, the Xmas dinner, the New Year's Burlesque Ball, and Malanka. I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing, but that's what I can think of for the next two months. So yeah, there's been some good times had, and there's still more great times to come!!
Travel: None recently. I do want to, though. I think next weekend we're planning a day in the states, so at least I get to use my brand spanking new passport and leave the country. I know there's talk of getting a group and planning a week-long trip to somewhere, so hopefully next year we can do that. I'd also like to go to El Salvador, if I get the chance. Maybe for Easter?? I know they get a week off around that time. And for mine and Jenn's bday we'll hopefully do Vegas!!
So there you go. Now you're caught up in my life and everything. I can't promise I'll update anytime soon, 'cause, well, you know me. I'm not good at updates. Or keeping to schedule or being on time or anything like that.
Well, shit. That's quite a lot of random facts. Okay, so let's see what I can come up with.
1. Horror movies can terrify the shit out of me. I love them, even the shitty ones, and am always up for watching them. But there are some movies that will have one moment, or one event, or one shot that scares me enough to not want to turn off my lights at night.
2. I've always felt really weird yelling during sporting events, even when I want nothing more than to yell at the players. I feel like everyone is watching and judging me.
Park in Toronto (left); islands in Georgian Bay (right).
3. I've always wanted to be a Photoshop genius, so I love to play around with it and find tutorials. I'm not terrible, but I definitely wouldn't hire me!!
4. I love music, but the creative process for it (writing lyrics, singing, instruments, etc) are my enemy. No matter what I do or try, I suck at anything besides listening to music. You should hear me sing. I'm pretty sure it's considered cruel and unusual punishment.
5. Painting and photography make me happy. Super happy.
6. I'm a super picky eater. I don't like peppers (of any colour), steak, mushrooms, most seafood (fishy tasting fish, mussels, calamari, clams, oysters, etc.), pickles, carrots, and celery. I can't take hot sauce. I won't even try offal (except chicken heart. Yummy!!). I dislike brussels sprouts and nutmeg.
7. I love making lists. I never follow them, and I often lose them, but I love making them.
8. Camping is one of my favourite things to do in the summer. Bruce Peninsula National Park is my favourite place, and I try to go at least once a summer (it books up pretty fast!!).
9. I've recently become addicted to the Food Network. I will watch anything with Bobby Flay or Michael Symon in it, which explains my new love of Iron Chef America. They make me happy, and I wish I could get cooking lessons from one of them. Or just hang out with them. I do also enjoy Diners, Dive-ins, and Dives.
10. I still consider El Salvador home, even though I've lived in Canada for 21 of the 28 years of my life.
11. I love traveling, and would prefer a backpacking or touristy vacation over a relaxing beach one any day, although I do love the beach more than anything and would try to fit at least one day in.
Original blog as it looked like when I left LJ in 2007.
12. I start new blogs all the time, most of which I get bored of fairly quickly. Brain Mush is the only that I always update (even if it's super sporadically). I've been updating it, first on Livejournal, then here on Blogger, since 2003.
13. One show I could watch forever is Buffythe Vampire Slayer. I can watch it non-stop, all day, everyday. And I can watch the musical episode, "Once More With Feeling," over and over and over again.
14. I love birthdays. Although I do, every so often, get the urge to have a small, intimate, relaxed birthday, I fully believe that birthdays should be celebrated all weekend and as loud and crazily as possible. I'm sure the low-key birthdays will happen more often as I get older, but next year will definitely be an awesome party!!
15. I live my life with music non-stop. I have music playing while I read, while I cook, while I'm in my room, when I shower, while I sleep, while I commute, on road trips, at work (if allowed), and just about any other time I can have music on.
16. I know almost all of the words to Empire Records. I say almost because the DVD version is not the same as the VHS version. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to change it, but they did. Also, I just watched the trailer I added in this post, and I think I'm gonna go watch the movie now.
17. I love live shows. Everything from concerts to plays to musicals. I love them and would watch them all the time if I could afford it. We Will Rock You was awesome, and I'm sad I missed Rock Of Ages. I do still hope to one day watch Phantom of the Opera live. I would love to see Wicked, or maybe a Shakespeare play. I also love shows like Riverdance, and would absolutely love to see Cirque du Soleil.
18. I have recently (as in the last two weeks) discovered One Tree Hill. I never watched it before, and now that I've seen a few episode, I want to watch all nine seasons. Only problem?? I want to beat the fuck out of Brooke. She's kind of annoying, but more than that, I hate her voice. And her facial expressions. And her attempts to act her heart out. She's lucky people like her in a tiny cheerleader outfit.
19. I'd rather wear skirts and dresses than jeans. I love track pants and yoga pants, but I feel weird wearing them when I go out for anything more than a quick errand. And I love heels and cork platform sandals more than anything, but I'm not used to wearing them anymore, and I don't want to deal with the pain of getting used to them, so I don't. So I wear flip-flops and Roxys instead.
20. Much Ado About Nothing is my favourite Shakespeare play. It's followed by Hamlet.
So it's been a little over three weeks, and I still miss my baby. My Lucky. I still think I'm gonna see him when I leave my room. I still think he's about to scratch my door so I can let him in my room. I still wake up thinking that he should be on my bed.
I come home, and my heart breaks because no one is barking excitedly at me. No one is so happy I'm home that they run to see me so I'll pet them and hug them. I don't have him to take out for a walk. I don't have him to hug.
The love of my life. RIP Lucky.
I just want to hug him. Everyday, that's all I want to do. Just cuddle with him. Give him a kiss and tell him I love him
Every time I feel down, I look for him, because his hugs and cuddles soothe my every hurt. But he's not there, and it kills me every time I realize it.
I miss him so much. It still feels like there's a hole in my heart. I've always known that he was a part of the family, I just never though I'd have to say goodbye. I know it seems like I should have known, but I wasn't ready. I just want another few minutes with him. Is that so much to ask??
I went to Aidan's house last weekend to drop off my mom, and I went out into the backyard. Nelson showed me where they buried Lucky. Never in my life have I had such a strong urge to do something. But I can't dig him up and hug him, 'cause he's gone. And what's there isn't him. It breaks my heart to think of him, in the ground, cold and alone.
I always hated the phrases "Give it time," or "It will get better." Neither of those tell you how long it'll take. I just want someone to give me an actual timeline. Like, "It'll hurt for six months, but then you'll be okay." Something like that, so I know when this hole will stop feeling like it's drowning me in sadness.
I keep thinking that maybe if I had another puppy, I'd feel better. But then I feel like I'm replacing him. Is that crazy?? Regardless, no new puppy for me until I don't cry every time I see a puppy on TV. Or every time I think his name. Or every time I picture him.
I'm gonna make a shadow box to put in my room, and I'll take it with me wherever I go. I saved some of his toys, and I'll take a piece of his blanket and put it in. And a few pictures. I found some of his hair a few days ago from the last haircut I did (and it wasn't pretty, I cried for like an hour), so maybe I'll put some of that in there as well. I don't care how creepy it sounds.
That way, I'll always feel like I have a part of him. Something I can't forget. Something others can see and remember him by. Because he was my love and my baby, and he should never be forgotten.
I'm not sure how many of you know, but secretly, I'm a Sunny D junkie. I love Sunny D. I could drink it forever. If I'm ever asked to get orange juice, that's what I'll get. So as a warning, don't ask me to get orange juice unless you want Sunny D. Or be specific about which one you want. And I always make sure to bring one or two bottles camping. It's so not good for you and so yummy tasting. It's so fake....and so good!! I love it.
So yesterday, while on a super quick Walmart run, I came across this aisle, and took a picture. It was like someone at Walmart actually went out of their way to make me happy. So I had to share it.
I'm not sure why someone decided that an entire aisle needed to be sunny D (it was half the regular yellow one, and half of the orange tangy one, which is why further down the colour changes), but they're freaking awesome!!
Of course I bought some. I had to. It called to me. Also, it was only $2 for the big bottle!!! If I'd taken more cash with me, I would so have bought more than one. It's not like they go bad or anything. Seriously, they're fake juice. That shit must last forever!! I should put some aside in case the zombies come or the Mayans are right. Ooooh, I'll make an underground bunker and fill it with Sunny D. Except...well...that would be a lot of work. Maybe I'll just fill my closet and hope my building doesn't blow up due to zombies/apocalypse.
But yes, sooooo tasty. I'm looking forward to breakfast, and the nice big glass of fake orange juice I'm gonna have with it. I don't even know what I'm gonna have for breakfast, but I know it'll include Sunny D.
'Cause there's just no better way to start the day than with fake, way-too-yellow, orange juice. Unless I was on a beach. Oooh, at the beach, drinking some Sunny D. With rum in it!! That'd definitely be a better way to start the day :)
