Me está gritando
ya sé que no se entera,
el corazón escucha tu cabeza, pero ¿a dónde vas?
¿Me estás escuchando?
qué hay de tu orgullo que habíamos quedado
La noche empieza
y con ella mi camino
te busco a solas
con mi mejor vestido
pero ¿A dónde estás?
¿Qué es lo que ha pasado?
¿Qué es lo que queda después de tantos años?
Miro esos ojos que un día me miraron
busco tu boca, tus manos, tus abrazos,
pero tú no sientes nada y te disfrazas de cordialidad
Ni una sola palabra, ni gestos, ni miradas apasionadas,
ni rastro de los besos que antes me dabas,
Hasta al amanecer
Ni una de las sonrisas por las que cada noche y todos los días
sollozan estos ojos en los que ahora te ves
Como un juguete que choca contra un muro
salgo a encontrarte y me pierdo en cuanto busco
una oportunidad, un milagro, un hechizo
volverme guapa y tu guapo conmigo
Frente a los ojos que un día me miraron
Pongo mi espalda y algunos cuántos pasos
Y me apunto otra derrota mientras mi boca
Dice nunca más...
Ni una sola palabra, ni gestos, ni miradas apasionadas,
ni rastro de los besos que antes me dabas,
Hasta al amanecer
Ni una de las sonrisas por las que cada noche y todos los días
sollozan estos ojos en los que ahora te ves
No puede ser, no soy yo,
me pesa tanto el corazón,
por no ser de hielo cuando el cielo me pide paciencia
Ni una sola palabra ni gestos ni miradas apasionadas
ni rastro de los besos que antes me dabas
Hasta al amanecer
Ni una de las sonrisas por las que cada noche y todos los días
Sollozan estos ojos en los que ahora te ves
---------------------------
So yeah, that song is my new obsession. I listen to it like 18 times a day. Non-stop. Over and over. I know, I'm special.
So yeah, it's been like two weeks since I wrote. So I guess to catch up now.
I got pretty bad after the whole thing where Anthony made a big deal out of the xmas dinner. I even almost felt bad and gave in. But in the end, he's not coming. I saw him last friday, Krystal invited me to the Fox, so I went with them. It went okay, I just pretended he wasn't there.
Then we went to Jack's place in Lindsay. Which was pretty good. The place we went to eat was good, and the club was so much better than the Fox. Music was good, there was more people, and the drinks didn't seem to be too expensive. And then we went home, and me and Jack had a really good talk, though sadly I was too tired to really participate. We should do it again!!
This weekend, we had our work Christmas party. It was pretty good. Food wasn't bad, there were enough people there. But the weather was super shitty, so some people didn't come, and most people left as soon as all nthe gifts were done being handed out. I didn't stay too long after that, since most people were leaving anyways. So Ela and Jack came to pick me up, and we went to Body English for Kasia's bday. The club sucked. It was pretty empty, and I didn't hear one song I liked. And I'm not sure if there were more ppl or not at Kasia's dinner part, but it seemed to be the same ppl as always at the club.
And yeah, so me and Ela decided on the way home that we weren't gonna go there for New Year's. But we didn't know what to do. We don't want to go to a club downtown, and we don't want to go to the ones in Mississauga. And we couldn't all just stay home separately, that would have been boring and mean to Rose. So I mentioned it to my mom, and she came up with the great idea that I should use the furnished apt in the building and just have ppl over. So that's what we're doing now. A relaxed new year's. It's not that we can't drink or play music or anything like that, but we don't have to dress up or go out or wait an hour at the bar. And it's too bad Kasia doesn't want to have a party at her place, because I managed to invite 18 ppl, and that's only because I really can't invite more to a 2-bedroom apt. If I'd had a house, I would have invited like 30, and then there's Kasia's other friends on top of that......
Anyways, so work is good. I still like what I do, even thought it's hectic. And now I have more fun, 'cause Nardeo's gotten better now that he really knows me and Nick's back to help him. And I'm making good enough money, so that I can still pay my cell phone and the digital cable, and still go out and still do Christms shopping....yeah, I like it.
So I still have more ppl to buy for. I found a great gift for my secret santa, and its exactly $40!! So I'm just gonna give what I'd bought already to someone else. But I still have to buy something for Jose, and for my mom, and for Kasia, and for Ela, and for Robin..... I'm really only done Patrick, Gaby, and Nelson. I know what I'm getting Ela, but I have no idea what to get everyone else. Yeah, it sucks. Malls are gonna be so crowded when I go, since I'll prolly go on saturday. Though I'm gonna need Ela to love me and drive me to Future Shop and Ikea, since I can't carry what I want to buy.
So yeah, I'm also planning a girl's night. It's for Jan 12th, which I know is the Sat of the weekend Anthony will do something for his bday, but oh, well. I know Krystal, Tamara, and prolly Robin will end up going with him if he does something, and that's fine. But I can't see it mattering if Ela, Kasia, and Jessica don't go to his. So with them three, plus Nicole and her cousin Shannon, and maybe Tatjana and Nida, and maybe Deanna, we can have a pretty good girls' night. Once again, we're using the furnished unit. I love that place.
And yeah, so I'm trying to plan something to keep busy on the 25th. This is the first time in four years that I won't have a dinner to go to. So we're gonna be at home, watching movies and all that. I know Ela will come, and maybe Jack too. I just really hope I'll be okay. I mean, I can't guarantee anything. Christmas is a lot harder than I thought. I just don't want to hear about the new girl being at his place, or even worse, at his family thing on Boxing day. I love his family, and man, am I gonna miss them.
But I'll be okay. Eventually. At least, I really hope so. I don't know how much time it'll take, but I know eventually, I'll be good. I know I'm doing pretty good for myself, with the job, and the car I'm getting on wed, and the travelling....but man, I miss those arms. But it's okay. I'll find someone for me, when I'm ready.
On a happy note, I will be getting my gym membership on the 28th. That's right. I'm gonna be going to the gym. My plan is to go three times a week after work. And I'm gonna ask Nikki for the L.A. Weight Loss diet that she was gonna give me, and I'm gonna do everything I can to follow it. By next summer, I plan to have lost at least 40 lbs., at least. So yeah, that's gonna take some work on my part.
Anyways, this is getting much too long now. Time for me to go.
Bye bye
Susana
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