Blogging Challenge: Zodiac sign

3. What is your zodiac sign and does it fit our personality?

So I don't know too much about astrology.  I've never been one to check my horoscope unless it's put in front of me.  I have no idea what any of the signs are.

I know I'm aquarius, and I'm right at the end (I think Feb 19th is a different one), but to be honest, I don't know what that means.  So I looked it up...and realized I don't care.

Aquarius has water as the symbol.  I assume that means they like water.  I like water - clear, warm, non-fish filled water.  So I'm gonna say yes, that means it fits.

I know nothing else, and I don't really care to find out.  All the sites will tell me something different, and it's all really a bunch of crap.  But at least I answered the question, right??

Yeah, I know.  I'm awesome.

Blogging Challenge: relationship with your parents.

Well, since my parents are divorced, I'll do this as two totally separate descriptions. Let's get the unhappy out of the way first: my dad.

I don't have a relationship with my dad.  I think I've spoken to him once or twice in the last eight years or so, and I believe I've only seen him once.  Do I miss him??  Sometimes. Do I wish it were different??  Not really.  I used to, but not anymore.  Does it hurt to know he doesn't care??  Yes.  More than anyone can imagine. I do a good job of playing up the hate and the indifference, but it hurts.  Every time I'm reminded, it hurts.  There's a reason I can't watch movies where a dad apologizes for his mistakes to his children.  I have to leave the room and cry my heart out.

He has a new family now.  A new wife, new kids.  We don't hear from him.  The only time I hear anything about him is the few times we saw my aunt, who tried everytime to tell us we should forgive and move on and love him, like he wasn't a piece of shit douchebag that deserved our ire.

He was never there, he didn't help out, he didn't do anything but use us against each other, leave us with no thought when it suited him, and cry to us so we'd hate our mom.  He made promises he never kept, plans he never followed through on, and promised a love that he never, ever showed.

There's a song I feel really describes how I feel.  It's called "Emotionless" and it's by Good Charlotte.  I've put it on my blog before, but I'll add it here again in case you want to hear it again.  It's a good song.  I think I'm angrier than the singer, but other than that, it's pretty close to how I feel.

As you can tell, I harbour a lot of bitterness and resentment still.  I can't see that changing anytime soon.  I have nothing agains his new kids, whom I consider my brothers.  But when I go to El Salvador, I will not make plans to see him.  And if he's there??  Well, let's just say he won't like it if he comes to talk to me.

On to the happier parental story: my mom.

My mom and I in 2010.

I love my mom.  I don't feel there is anyone in my life that's a better role model than her.  She gave up everything for us, and when shit got hard, she stuck it out for us.  When my parents got divorced, she could have gone home to her family and her friends and forced us to grow up in El Salvador.  But she didn't.  Instead, she stuck it out alone, in a foreign country, with no family and no friends, without knowing the language, just so we could have a brighter future.

My mom looking hot on
her birthday, 2011.

She played mom and dad.  She played boss and dictator.  She played the bad cop.  She played the good cop.  And now she plays the best friend.

Never did I not have a warm jacket or shoes.  Never did I not have notebooks or pencils or a backpack.    Never did I miss a school trip or a birthday or an event. Never did I not have something, small or not, to fill my tummy.  Never did I have a Christmas where I didn't rip open presents and love them all.  We were all taken care of and spoiled to the furthest extent she could spoil us.

She bailed us out of jams, she helped us out, she listened, she gave advice, she was there.

Now don't get me wrong, she's made her mistakes.  She's said the wrong thing or brought the wrong people around or made the wrong choice.  But you know what??  She's human.  She's allowed mistakes.  But in the end, she never left our side, and she never hesitated to drop everything and everyone for us. 

My mom in the British Virgin Islands, Dec 2011.

I love that now that I'm older, I can go for dinner with her, or to a bar and get a drink and some nachos. I love that my friends love her.  I'm glad I can talk to her.  I like that we can go shopping or for dinner or just hang out and talk.

And I like her boyfriend, Aidan.  He's a good guy and he makes her happy.  He's gotten her to try a lot of new things, like sailing and scuba diving and pretty sure I'm sure she'll be skydiving soon.  And she's finally taking vacations and going new places!!  And she's made some awesome new friends and goes out every weekend and has fun.

She's happy now and finally living life, and I wish her the best and I hope she enjoys it.  Stop thinking about anyone but yourself and have fun - you deserve it!!

So there you go, that's what the opposite ends of the parental spectrum looks like.

But at least I had one awesome parent, right??  I still think I'm lucky.  My mom's more than enough, and I'll never be anything but glad that she's here and she love us. We love her more than anyone else.  Hopefully she'll be around for a long while yet!! And in the meantime, we'll keep wishing her a happy mother's day and a happy father's day!!

And I'm back!! Well, hopefully.

Ah, updates.  How I fail at them!!

So it's been a few months since I wrote on here, and I've decided I need to go back to writing and sharing my wonderful and oh-so-important opinion with you all.  But first, an update on my life!!

Let's try to do this quickly, shall we??

Health: Okay now.  I threw out my back and then had the flu, but I seem to be in okay working order now.  Joined a gym (which had to be put in hold by the aforementioned health issues), but I'll be getting back into that in the next few days.  I've even convinced Jenn to join!!  Maybe we'll do some yoga??  I hear that's good for your back.

Work: None.  I was on contract, and they ended it (rather abruptly, if you ask me!!), so I'm back to looking.  I'm gonna try and find something writing related, although I'll be applying for admin too.  I do not want to be unemployed for longer than a week.  Or maybe two, since next week I need a day off.  But after that...work!!

Living Space: I'm still at my mom's.  I'm trying to be smarter this time and wait until I have a stable, full time, permanent job before I move.  Sadly, that seems to be impossible for me to find.  But once I do, I'm totally moving out!! Hopefully somewhere in Mississauga.  And if not, somewhere near a highway so people will visit me.

Family: Gaby's off at McMaster, doing first year humanities, and Nelson's back Humber doing Network Engineering Technologist (I think??).  I'm super happy for them.  Jose and I haven't killed each other yet, so I'd say it's a success!!  And my mom's happy and doing her thing with Aidan in Burlington.

School: I'm taking law classes at George Brown.  I was thinking paralegal, but I've been advised that what I want to be (according to the image in my head) is a law clerk.  So I'm gonna look into that.

Love:  Matt and I are currently not together.  It's pretty much my fault, and honestly, I'm not sure yet what the right decision is.  It's been 3 days and I already miss him so much.

Life: Lots of partying.  I've been to at least one party every weekend for the last two months.  This Friday, there's a wedding (yeah for open bar and then hotel party!!) and then there's still a club bday, a house party bday, an open bar and 3-course meal bday, the Xmas dinner, the New Year's Burlesque Ball, and Malanka.  I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing, but that's what I can think of for the next two months.  So yeah, there's been some good times had, and there's still more great times to come!!

Travel: None recently.  I do want to, though.  I think next weekend we're planning a day in the states, so at least I get to use my brand spanking new passport and leave the country.  I know there's talk of getting a group and planning a week-long trip to somewhere, so hopefully next year we can do that.  I'd also like to go to El Salvador, if I get the chance.  Maybe for Easter?? I know they get a week off around that time. And for mine and Jenn's bday we'll hopefully do Vegas!!

So there you go.  Now you're caught up in my life and everything.  I can't promise I'll update anytime soon, 'cause, well, you know me.  I'm not good at updates.  Or keeping to schedule or being on time or anything like that.

So I guess you'll just have to keep checking!!