30 Days of Truth: Music that gets me through the days.

13. A band or artist that has got­ten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

So I've been trying to think of one band that has helped get me through some days, and honestly, I can't think of just one.  So I decided to do songs instead.  I can think of a few songs that helped me get through some tough days or really got to me by saying everything I felt or everything I wanted to say.

"Wonderful" by Everclear is one of the songs that made me feel as if they knew how I felt when they wrote it.  Even now, it's hard for me to listen to without feeling like I did back when I was 12 and life was changing so much. 

"Emotionless" by Good Charlotte is a song that  describes how currently I feel in regards to my father. With the exception of one line, everything said in that song feels like it could have been written with me in mind.  Some days I wish I could send him the lyrics, and let him know how I feel.  And some days, I wonder if he even cares or remembers.  And like the song says, I wonder if misses me, and I wish I could hate him, but I'm pretty sure that the song tells you just how much it hurts to not be able to hate him.

Anyways, moving on.

"Over You" by Daughtry was another one that got me through a tough time. I would listen to it over and over again, knowing that one day I'd agree with all the lyrics.  The day it finally happened, when I realized that was how I felt, was a great day. Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again" helped through this period too, but not as much.

Shakira is usually pretty good at cheering me up and making me dance, and Rise Against is my go-to for getting out my rage and frustration.  Goo Goo Dolls and 30 Seconds To Mars calm me down, and a playlist that includes LMFAO, Ke$ha, Britney and Pitbull will get me ready for any party.

I can probably think of many, many more, but then this list would go on forever.  So I'll leave it at those for now.

I'm alive!!!!

So finally I get around to updating.  I guess it's been enough months that my internal screaming voice is saying, "Hey, remember that other blog you write??  Yeah, that one.  Go update it!!"

So here I am, updating.  And I guess I do have a few things to update about.

So let's start with the basics: I am currently unemployed.  RBC decided to not renew my contract, and so I've been searching for something new for a while now.  Hopefully something will come soon, 'cause I'm getting really worried.  And I can only handle so much stress in my life!!  I should prolly be sending out more resumes every day than I am now, though.  I guess I'll work on that.  And maybe call some agencies again.  And if anyone knows of something new, let me know!!

I'm still living at my mom's.  Clearly.  It's not really likely that I'll be moving out anytime soon, especially now that I'm unemployed.  I'm hoping to find a steady, non-contract job soon, and move out once I've been there for at least four months.  Maybe five.  I love my family, but I miss having my own place.

Matt and I are doing pretty well.  We try to see each other at least two days a week.  I'm glad I've got him, he makes me happy.  Plus, I like hugging him.  And waking up next to him.  I like it better on the weekends, when no one has to rush anywhere, but still.  I love it.  I've invited him to come with me to El Salvador in November for my cousin's wedding, and I'm really hopeful he'll be able to come.  I'd love to show him my favourite places.  I'm also hoping we can go camping this summer again.  Maybe a long weekend at Bruce Peninsula National Park??  That would definitely make me happy.

I've also been doing some research into El Salvador and the civil war...but that will have to be a different post.  I don't really want to get into it now.

So I've spent my time lately with my new blog, "Since You Asked..." which is on Wordpress.  I like writing that one a lot.  It's basically just my opinion on anything I can think of, but it's not about my life, like this one.

I've realized recently that this thing I do, where I get bored and move on to a new blog, is just hurting any possible readership I may have.  I've had tons of blogs in the last few years.  This one is the only constant one, and I don't even update it regularly.  I really should get on that, so that people will know where to follow me.  I mean, as of right now, none of my friends follow my new blog.  Even my boyfriend doesn't read it!!

Then again, I have no idea who reads this one either.  Does anyone??  I'm not sure.

Still, more updating should be done.
 
I turned even older about two weeks ago.  Yes, I turned 28.  That's ancient!!  It was a fairly low-key affair, with only a few friends and family.  We had Mexican food and I spent the weekend with Matt.  Overall, it was an okay birthday.  Next year, I'm thinking Vegas.  Or maybe Montreal.  Or maybe just dinner.  I guess I'll see when it gets closer.

I'm okay with my age.  I'm more upset with the fact that I'm 28 and I haven't gotten anywhere remotely stable or independent or anything.  It's kinda sad.  Hopefully by 29 I'll be an adult??  I'll do my best.

Oh, and I got rid of Facebook.  I just didn't want it anymore.  If you really want to know why, you can read the explanation on my other blog here.  Suffice to say, I don't plan on getting it back anytime soon.

I think I'm done now.  I should be sleeping anyways.  I'll try to update in a few days with my thoughts on El Salvador.

Okay, nighty night.

30 Days of Truth: Some­thing you never get com­pli­ments on.

So I'm back on this 30 Days of Truth thing. I kinda wanna finish it. So, on to the next one: Something I never get compliments on.

I can't really think of something I never get complimented on, so I guess I'll write about something people often tell me I need to work on fixing, or sucks about me, or whatever. So I've got two: my laziness and my lack of drive and ambition, and my terrible handling of money.

So as most of you know, the way I live my life is simple: if I can do it tomorrow instead of today, I will. Procrastination has always been something I practice regularly. This goes for everything in my life - health-related (I should so be going to the gym), work (I shouldn't be writing this now), writing (I really should update my soccer blog), and everything else you can think of. It is probably one of the things about me I get shit for the most often. I know I need to change it, and I will...later.

My way of money management, or lack thereof, is what I hear the most of. I can make an awesome budget on paper, but I can never translate it to real life. I spend before I pay bills, I go places and do things before I even consider how I'm going to pay everything I need to. I buy pointless things and spend tons on food and eating out. I waste money and having nothing to show for it. I suck at paying people back. Trust me, I know. I've heard it all. I've tried to change it, but it never happens. Maybe I'll leave my debit card locked up?? If anyone knows of a way to do better at this, let me know!!

So there you go. I'm sure if you ask people who know me, they can come up with more. But those are the two I'd say I hear the most.

~ Suz