Blogging Challenge: hardest thing

8. What is the hardest thing you have ever experiences?

I don't know that I could pick just one thing that has been the hardest.  At the time they were happening, there are many things that I felt were incredibly hard and would never end or get better, but looking back, they weren't really all that bad.

I guess if I were to pick a one of these experiences, I'd have to say my parents' divorce was probably the hardest. Not just because they were splitting up, but because my dad was pretty manipulative with our feelings and picked favourites between my siblings and I to play us off each other, but also because my mom, in an effort to move on, jumped into a relationship with a man I absolutely hated.

Of course, there were other things involved in this terrible time in my life, and it led to me being an angry and depressed teen that tried to end it all, and honestly, I'm still an angry (although less so) and emotional adult. But thankfully the anger and resentment doesn't rule my life as much as it used to.

Recently, I'd have to say that my dog's death hit me hard.  I loved him more than I love some of the people in my life, and I honestly thought he'd be around for years and years to come.  I've been lucky most of my life, never having really lost anyone.  The last funeral I remember was my grandpa, and I was 6 at the time.  So death wasn't something that touched me, and this felt like it came out of nowhere.  Even now, a year and a half later, I can remember what it was like to hug him and sometimes I stare at the places he used to sit and picture him there.  I miss him so, so much.


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A list of things before I die (a.k.a. my bucket list).

Bucket lists have always interested me. I’ve never really understood why they were called bucket lists, though.  I guess it’s because it’s things you wanna do before you kick the bucket??  Seems a little weird to me, but you know, English is pretty weird that way.  I’ve taken to calling them bucket lists now, though, because it’s what everyone else seems to know them as, and it’s just easier than explaining why you hate the name every time you use it.

Anyways, so I’ve had one made long before I knew what they were called, and even now, I continue to add to it.  I think I was nine years old when I first started writing down the list I’d been keeping in my head for as long as I could remember.  Some items have never changed (hug a panda, see the northern lights, learn to surf), while others have been added as soon as I discovered it was possible to do them or that they existed (swim with sharks, write a book, walk the Skywalk at the Grand Canyon).

Thankfully, I’ve crossed a few off my list: I’ve climbed a volcano, visited Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, camped at Bruce Peninsula National Park, climbed a pyramid (well, technically a ziggurat, but I’m not gonna be picky).

I figured I’d list a few here for you all, in case you need some inspiration.  Of course, there’s other, less photo-friendly items on my list, like write a novel, learn a new language, see a broadway play, spend the night in a haunted house, learn to drive standard, and visit all 50 states.  Plus, you know, ride a hot air balloon, swim with dolphins, go horseback riding, go paragliding, see the Sphinx…. you get the point, I’m sure.

I would love to see the Cristo Redentor and Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.	The Galapagos Islands, Ecuador.  The animals aren't afraid of people!! Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!! Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!
J.K. Rowling is my idol, and I'd love to meet her.	Machu Picchu has always been at the top of my list.
Hadrian's Wall, Northern England.	Jasper National Park in Alberta, Canada.
The Festival of Lanterns in Thailand.  It looks like it'd be so beautiful to watch!!	Kid Cudi.  His lyrics are incredible, and I'd love to tell him how much I admire him and his honesty.
African Safari.  I think it'd be amazing!!  Hopefully one day it'll happen for me.	Angkor Wat in Cambodia.  I'd love to watch the sunrise.
Party in Rio de Janeiro for the Carnival.	The Great Wall of China.
Own a pair of Louboutins.  They're just so pretty!!	See the Northern Lights (aka Aurora Borealis).
Hug a panda!!	Skydive

So there you go.  I’m sure I’ll come up with others as time goes by, and hopefully I’ll get to knock some off my list soon.  I’m hoping that within the next year I can go horseback riding and maybe ziplining or skydiving.  I wanted to get cliff jumping out the of the way, but instead I jumped off a high ledge inside a cave, which I’m not sure counts as a cliff.  And next year, a trip for sure.  Maybe Machu Picchu and the Inca Trail??  Maybe Comic Con in San Diego??  Or maybe I’ll just buy a pair of Louboutin leather boots (and/or sparkly stilettos).  I’d so love that!!
What’s on your bucket list??

Blogging challenge: my desktop

7. Screenshot your desktop.  Explain it.

Well, this one is kinda boring, since I have Windows 8, which means that nothing really needs to be on my desktop.  I'll screenshot it anyways, though.

Okay, so as you can tell, I have two monitors, both of which are widescreen.  My background pictures change every five minutes from a folder where I've put in pictures of places I think are super pretty (which are labelled at the top) and pictures that have quotes that I like.

As for what's on there, well, there's two quotes in the sticky notes that I've heard recently, which are "Write every day.  Not every other day.  Not tomorrow.  Not after the party.  But before.  The more you write, the more comes out of you.  If you don't give inspiration an opportunity, it will never arrive," which Ethan Hawke said (wwll, wrote) in an answer during a Reddit AMA, and "It's better to write for yourself and have no audience and have no public than write for the public and have no self," which was said by Cyril Connolly.

There aren't too many programs, just a few shortcuts: Photoshop, Calibre (to read ebooks), Handbrake (to convert movies to iTunes format), iTunes, the LotR game I haven't played yet, Mozilla Thunderbird (for some volunteer work I was doing), and a few random folders.

This seems like a boring post, so I'll add a few of my favourite pictures out of all the backgrounds.   The two ink ones came as part of a theme I downloaded from Microsoft.  The other pictures I find mostly of Reddit's The SFW Porn Network, mainly the EarthPorn and CityPorn subreddits, as well as Trey Ratcliff's work, which he shares on his site here.  Then I add the location using Photoshop (I don't change anything else, I just got tired of having pics come up and wondering where it was) and add it to my Themes folder.  I've added the sources as best I can, but I wasn't able to find them all.  If anyone knows, please let me know so I can credit the photographer!!

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Spencer Platt/Getty Images

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