And the doctor says....

So I got back from the doctor's a little while ago, and I decided to post what I found out. Mainly because I need to tell someone and Anthony is still sleeping for another hour. And I've already waited forever!!

So although I'm still diagnosed as pre-diabetic, because once you get that title, it's there forever, I don't think I really have anything to worry about. And the doctor agrees, I'm fine. Only once has my blood sugar tested above normal, which I think was on the fasting test. I had high sugar when I hadn't eaten, but the icky orange stuff they made me drink didn't really make any difference to the sugar. But every other time, I've tested fine, within normal range. Apparently 7.0 is diabetic, 6.0 is pre-diabetic, and I normally test around 5.2 or 5.4, never really any higher. So I think I'm gonna stop worrying about this one. I'm fine. On the plus side, all my eye exams are free now.

Secondly, she says my depression is back. She asked me how I've been feeling, and I gave her an honest answer. I've been having insane mood swings, and the emotions are pretty extreme. I haven't been sleeping well at all, and I'm always tired. Everything scares the crap out of me. I'm not really happy, ever. I get upset easily. I even thought about dropping out of school because I couldn't handle everything.

So she has put me on medication. I'm not a big fan of daily medication, mainly because I am the worst person at remembering to take pills. But you know, if it'll make me feel okay and I won't be such a bitch, then maybe it's not such a bad thing. Plus, I know now that it's not forever. I cana take it for a while, maybe a year or two, and then I can be okay without them for another year or two. And it comes and goes. So I'll learn how to deal. Not happy with it, but I don't really get a choice.

She's also given me the phone number of a clinic to call. She says that I have to call them and talk to them and they'll help me figure out what kind of councelling I need, be it a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or whatever. So cross your fingers that I'll be better by the summer.

I also know now that I have to work on the school stuff, because once I get better I'm gonna kick myself pretty hard if I've screwed it all up. I know I will. So now I have to work twice as hard, because I'd put off so much stuff because I didn't know if I wanted to stay in school.

But at least I can feel better knowing that I'm not retarded and I didn't just suddenly hate something I'd wanted for so long. And it's funny, because in all that time I said I hated it, I knew I didn't. But I just didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do anything at all but lay in my bed and cry. Maybe that's part of the reason I quit Zellers. But oh, well. Now I know, and now I can get better.

But right now, I've gotta focus on the magazine article due tomorrow and the essay due thursday. I know I'm pretty screwed. But I've gotta get them done. That way, I don't have to worry abou them anymore.

So I've decided to post a picture of my sheep. She makes me happy. And yes, I know she has horns and is probably neither a she nor a sheep. But whatever. Her name's Clarisse, and I love her. I got her last weekend when I had my wisdom teeth out and asked my mom for a sheep while I was all drugged up (we'd seen them on the way to the dentist's). And in the ledft bottom corner, you can see my little pillow, which is my most prized possession. My grandma made it for me before I was born, and I still have it. And I still sleep with it and take it absolutely everywhere!!!! It has been everywhere I've been.

Anyways, off to do some homework now. Wish me luck on finishing it. Bye bye!!